Mamma's Comin'!
This is my first blog post. No promises...we'll see how this goes...
My son is 3 weeks old today. It's also my 34th birthday. Funny how these things just sneak up on you. Right now, Jacob is taking another mini-nap. But I know that soon, he'll be screaming bloody murder because he's hungry/wants to be held/needs a clean diaper/has a tummy ache/or any other reason that I just can't figure out because we are still learning to communicate. A year ago I would have never guessed that my next birthday would find me as a new mom.
Being a mother has been so incredibly challenging. I cry almost every day because I can't get it right, or because he's upset, or because somehow, in all this chaos, we made a connection. There's a reason they call this baby bootcamp. Between breastfeeding, pumping, diaper changes, baths, midnight/3 am/6 am feedings, baby Zantac and Mylicon, Phil and I are whooped (that would be the past, past tense of whipped, right?). Speaking of Phil, he has been so wonderful through everything. He's even sharing night duty with me. So, not only does he work full time, but he comes home and makes dinner, cleans, and helps with the baby. I really need to get off my butt. I'm a stay at home mom now, I need to start getting things done around here. Of course, if I find some time between feedings, naps, diaper changes, and just needing to be held, then I will. I can blog and pump at the same time, but I can't do the dishes and pump.
This age is so hard, for both of us. I am older than I wanted to be just starting out with my first baby. I know that God has His own timing and that it's what's right for me, but I feel so old and tired. It doesn't help that I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in 10 months (pregnancy wasn't very kind to me at night). I do an awful lot of complaining for someone who just received one of the greatest miracles ever. All I ever wanted to be was a mother. And yet here I am, not the most happy person around.
Gosh, I have so much more to say, about a lot of things. But Jacob is waking up...don't cry baby, Mamma's comin'!
posted by Chelle @ 11:30 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Finally! Someone who is brutally honest about what motherhood is all about. Everyone always sugar coats it and that leaves everyone totally unprepared when they have kids themselves.
Glad to see you joined the blog-bandwagon!
I cried when I read this! I really did. I felt so horrid when my boys were young like that. I didn't really get a break to appreciate the beautiful things like fingers and toes unless they were asleep!
The first few months are exhausting. We put N and A's cradles by our bed and we'd wake up at night and doze in bed to feed them. Sometimes, Mat would fall asleep while feeding one, and I'd put whoever it was back in the cradle. Then Mat would wake up because he dropped a pillow or something on the floor thinking it was the baby. I can still hear him yelling 'I dropped the baby! Oh god, where'd he go?'
I'm so happy for you guys, and the blog is a great idea!
Cheers,
Court
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