Thursday, October 06, 2005

Sick again? Awww...Come on!

Yes, you heard me right. Little man is sick again. Another cold. He's out like a light right now on my lap. Such a comfy little man...
Sorry I haven't posted much lately. My last post was eaten by the sign-in creature (that would be the one that decides since it took you 2 days to write the post, we might as well make you sign in again, and oops! we ate the post...so sad). I had this whole thing written up about how bad things come in 3's. Long story really really short: My dad's wife, Cherie (Grandma Re), just found out she has non-hodgkins lymphoma. I still haven't heard what the prognosis is, but please, if you would, keep her in your prayers. The other thing was about us taking in our nieces for a few days (unexpectedly), and how having 4 kids in the house was an eye-opener. The last thing was about my adopted brother making Thanksgiving plans a little more stressful (we celebrate it at our house). Anyway...that's over. No more bad things cometh our way any time soon, thank-you-very-much.
Before the 3 bad things, I was going to write a post about a friend who is trying (read: not preventing) to get pregnant. She and her husband had come over for dinner and I started to feel the need to tell her things about having a baby, especially being a sahm (stay at home mom). I wanted to tell her how it's not what it looks like. I have such mixed emotions about being a sahm, mostly due to my own selfishness. You don't realize how selfish you are until you want to do something and can't because you have a baby who needs you. Even finding computer time is becoming increasingly more difficult. And then to look at my wonderful husband, who gets to go off to work each day and escape the virus infested fuss bucket. Oh to be at work, talking to adults, making money to help provide for our house.
But at the same time, I wouldn't give this up for the world. I love my son. I love seeing all his firsts. I love that he needs me. I love taking him to mommy groups, and to church, and to the store where everyone says what a beautiful boy he is. I love watching him flirt with the ladies. I love watching him sleep. It's not the same for every sahm. Some are quite successful at it , find it pretty easy, and are extremely happy. I have to work at everything. Nothing comes easy for me. But, it all boils down to selfishness. I realize that some people would kill to be able to stay at home with their kids. I am very grateful I have this opportunity, believe me. This is what I always wanted. I just didn't know what it meant.
Our little man seems to be taking steps forward and back and I'm not sure what's going on. He pulls himself up all the time, and then lets go. He's been standing hands free for almost a minute at a time. He's so close to walking...it's scary! At the same time, he quit eating solids. He won't even eat avocado. First it was breakfast and lunch one day. The next day is was dinner too. Now he won't eat anything. We've been letting him feed himself cereal stars, crackers, and veggie booty, just so he has something to do while we are eating. He doesn't really eat them though. He prefers to slobber on them and put them aside. Then he fusses the entire time through dinner, all the time signing "up". I just don't know what happened.
He also seemed to change his sleeping habits. He gets to sleep, and then 2 seconds later wakes up and realizes he's alone and starts fussing again. Daddy seems to get him to go to sleep better than me. He's waking up every 2 hours. At some point, I (or we) give up and bring him to bed because he's just going to keep waking up in shorter intervals. I'm impatiently awaiting the night that it suddenly clicks with him that it's good to sleep the entire night through. He's also been waking up earlier. It's too dark, and too comfy to be waking up at 6:30 in the morning. Especially if the night was too short due to wake up calls at 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, and 5. On the bright side, his daytime napping has regulated. He now has a morning nap and an afternoon nap. This means that sometimes Mommy has an afternoon nap as well. That is, if I'm not doing laundry, dishes, or trying to catch up on the many blogs I have been following.
Oh dear...gotta go...Jacob is attacking me...

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